Don't Trust Runners

This one is kind of near and dear to my heart for several reasons. 

Reason 1: I am a runner. A pathetic, heavy-breathing, slow-moving runner, but a runner none the less. If you were to watch me run, you would probably think to yourself something along the lines of, "That girl should pick a different means of exercising." It is really quite traumatizing.

Reason 2: I adore murder mysteries, and it is true: a surprising amount of bodies are found by runners in television murder shows. After all, it is those early morning runners that go where murderers dump bodies. Those people are crazy. (I am a late morning runner. Completely more sane. NOT!)

Reason 3: Last Halloween eve, while I was on my daily run in the backroads by where I live... IN THE RAIN, no less, and I happened to see a blanket tossed out in a ditch. It was worn and had clearly been in the elements for a while. I might have just run past it, if not for the fact that I saw bones sticking out. I live in the country, so I decided to check to see if I could determine if they were animal bones. Especially because as it was the day prior to Halloween, I was a little concerned about calling in what might turn out to be a bogus concern. Not touching (I know the drill), I climbed into the ditch (full of poison ivy which I am highly allergic to by the way) and peered at the blanket of bones. 

When I saw a chunk of roughly six inches long, blonde hair, I decided I should get an authority figure to check it out. 

I will probably never run a mile faster than that mile back to my house to get my phone. 

I reported it, and I think the dispatcher was concerned I was going to pass out, because he kept encouraging me to breathe. Then I returned and waited until the cops came, so I could point out what I had seen.

Long story short(ish), the officer assured me that they were dog bones. He could shift them after all and get a better view of the skeleton. And I went home drenched, but really, REALLY happy that I had not found a human body.

And now I have a creepy, non-murder related story to finding bones on a run.